What if I do it again? That's exactly why you won't.
- Jen Martinelli
- 4 days ago
- 14 min read
“You don’t have to own everything that happened.
You do have to own what you do next.”
🖤 From Jen: Extreme Ownership & No Amigo, Amigo.
Hi BEAUTISTA Fam,
I have a habit of saving leadership videos, podcasts, and anything else I think I might learn something from so I can go back and watch them when I have some free time. This weekend I went back to a video I had saved called Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink. Now, if you know me, you know I am OBSESSED with accountability. Just ask my kids. 😂 They are so sick of hearing me talk about being accountable at this point. So when a former Navy SEAL starts talking about taking ownership of EVERYTHING in your world... obviously he had my attention.
Jocko is a retired Navy SEAL officer who spent 20 years in the SEAL Teams, and in the talk he tells a story from 2006 when he was leading a mission that went horribly wrong. In all of the chaos and confusion, friendly forces mistakenly began firing at each other. A soldier was killed, others were wounded, and afterward his leadership was coming in to investigate exactly what happened.
Jocko gathered his team to go through what happened. One by one, his SEALs started taking accountability. One said it was his fault because he hadn't properly identified the target. Another blamed himself for something he had done. Jocko kept telling them, "No. It wasn't your fault." Finally he told the room there was only one person responsible. Him. He was the commander. It was his operation. And if something went wrong under his leadership, he owned it. He then laid out the new tactics and procedures they would put in place to make sure it never happened again.
Jocko thought there was a very real possibility he was going to be fired. Instead, when his commanding officer came in expecting excuses and finger-pointing and Jocko took complete ownership, he actually trusted him more. Not only that but his team didn't lose respect for him for taking ownership. They knew their leader wasn't going to throw them under the bus in the future when something went wrong. And then they started doing the same thing. Everyone took ownership. And as Jocko says in the talk, when everyone takes ownership of the problems, the problems actually get solved.
He also talks about getting your ego out of the way. Because ego is usually the thing that gets in the way of accountability. Our instinct is to defend ourselves. Explain why it wasn't really our fault. Point out what someone else did wrong. Taking your ego out of it means you don't have to protect yourself... you can just look at what happened and ask, "What's mine to own?" I laughed at this part because getting your ego out of the way is a huge theme in our house. Matt loves to say, "No amigo, amigo." What he's actually trying to say is "No ego, amigo." 😂
And with two teenagers home all summer, I feel like I talk about accountability about 4,000 times a day. My kids are probably SO tired of hearing me say it. Didn't make the team? Okay. What could YOU have done differently? Got a C on the test? Okay. Did you study as much as you could have, or were you watching TV and scrolling on your phone? Stuck with no ride because you failed to communicate pick up time? Learn from it. Something went wrong with a friend? Okay. What part of that situation belongs to you?
Not because everything that happens to us is our fault. Of course it isn't. There are a million things in life we can't control. But if our first instinct is always to find someone or something else to blame, we give away the one thing we actually DO control: what we do next.
Accountability isn't punishment. It's power. The second I can identify what I could have done differently, I have something I can actually change. If everything is always someone else's fault, I'm stuck waiting for everyone else to change before my life can get better.
It reminded me of a story I've heard versions of in leadership books over the years - the "million-dollar mistake." An employee makes a huge mistake that costs the company an enormous amount of money. They walk into the boss's office convinced they're about to be fired. Instead, the thinking is essentially: Why would I fire you now? We just spent a million dollars teaching you something you're never going to forget.
I thought about that recently with my daughter. She's been making her way back into sports after tearing her ACL and having surgery her freshman year of high school, which has been a challenging road. She made a pretty big mistake on one of her teams and afterward looked at me and said, "What if I do it again? I'll never make the team." I looked at her and said, "That's exactly WHY you wont do it again." You felt it. You know what happened. You know what you could have done differently. And now you're going to walk onto that field much more aware and better because of it.
I told her the million-dollar mistake story too. A mistake isn't necessarily what makes someone lose trust in you. Sometimes it's what you do after the mistake that determines whether people trust you even more.
Taking ownership sounds like you're taking on more blame, but you're actually taking back more control. It's saying: This happened. Here's my part in it. Here's what I learned. Here's what I'm going to do differently. No excuses. No finger-pointing. No ego, amigo. Or if you're Matt no amigo, amigo.
Because there will always be things outside of our control. There will always be mistakes. There will always be someone we could blame. But the second we stop protecting our ego long enough to ask, "What's mine to own?" we have something we can actually do about it. That's the power of extreme ownership.
xoxo,
Jen Martinelli
🚀 The Shift: Weekly Mindset + Strategy Upgrade.
From: “This happened because...”
To: “What's mine to own?”
Why it matters: The minute something goes wrong, our instinct is often to explain why it wasn't our fault. This doesn't mean everything IS your fault. It means looking for the piece you can actually do something about. That's where your power is.
This week's challenge: Catch yourself the next time you start blaming, defending, or making an excuse. Stop and ask, “What's mine to own here?” Maybe you could've communicated better. Prepared more. Asked the question sooner. Set a boundary. Paid closer attention. Whatever it is... own your piece and decide what you'll do differently next time.
Get into the habit of looking for what you can control instead of getting stuck on what you can't.
🎙️ In Case You Missed It (ICYMI)
Another week, another lineup of incredible education from the industry's leading brands. Here's a look at just a few of the free classes our community attended.
🎨 Matrix | SoColor 101 — Get confident with SoColor Permanent, from how it works and who it’s for to formulation, mixing, processing, and using color knowledge to grow and retain clients.
✨ Redken | Shades EQ Pro Connect — Become the go-to gloss expert with Shades EQ and Shades EQ Bonder Inside while learning seamless glossing, acidic demi color, and ways to build glossing into your service menu.
🧬 K18 | Style Lab: K18 and the Art of Repair — Go beyond product knowledge with techniques for repair across all hair textures, service integration, client communication, common mistakes, and even the business-building side of K18.
💆 Surface | Awaken Scalp Retreat — Learn how to create an in-salon scalp facial experience with scalp scoping, consultation, massage techniques, fine-hair styling, and new service-menu opportunities.
⚡ OLAPLEX | Total Transformation: Pro Difference Scalp to Ends — Learn a 30-minute premium ritual upgrade designed around prep, repair, and scalp-to-ends treatment—with a focus on creating a service clients want to book again.
🔥 Pulp Riot | Renegade Blonde — Dive into lighteners and High Speed Toners while learning the technical and artistic skills behind modern blonde work.
(And if you're a salon owner, school leader, or educator—share these with your team. One class can change a service. A habit of learning can change a career.)
💻 Tech-Forward:
Where tech meets beauty (and your next big move begins).
This Is Kinda Chic...
If you've been scrolling lately, you've probably seen the "this is kinda chic..." trend. I've been seeing it EVERYWHERE. And of course every time I see a trend like this, my brain immediately goes to... how could we use this in beauty? The trend itself is so simple. You take something normal, funny, oddly specific, or maybe even something people usually complain about and call it "kinda chic."
Client selfies taking over your camera roll? Kinda chic. Knowing someone's formula better than your own phone number? Kinda chic. A client saying "do whatever you want"? Kinda chic. Having 47 screenshots of hair inspo on your phone? Kinda chic. An iced coffee sitting next to your color bowls? Kinda chic. Going to beauty school while everyone else is at college? Kinda chic. Being the person everyone texts before they change their hair? Very chic.
And this is where AI can make jumping on trends SO much easier. Instead of staring at the trend trying to come up with 20 different ways to make it work for your business, give that job to AI.
You can use AI for the visuals too. Maybe you have the perfect idea but don't have the perfect image. Ask AI to help you brainstorm what the photo should look like. Upload a photo you already have and ask how you could use it for the trend. Or create imagery to support the concept if you don't have it. You can even ask AI to take one idea and give you versions for a Reel, Story, static post, carousel, or email. One trend can suddenly become a whole bunch of content without you sitting there for two hours trying to figure out what to post.
TRY THIS PROMPT:
"I'm a [hairstylist/salon owner/nail artist/esthetician/barber/beauty student] and my audience is [describe your audience]. I want to use the 'this is kinda chic' social media trend for my business. I've uploaded examples of the trend that I actually like. First, study these examples and tell me the framework they have in common and why they work. Then give me 15 ideas using that same framework for my specific audience and business. I don't want generic beauty sayings. Make them funny, specific, relatable, and things people in my world would actually say or experience. For each one, give me the exact text to put on screen and the photo or video I should pair with it. Then pick the 3 you think my audience would be most likely to share or send to a friend."
That's how I'd use AI for trends. Don't ask it to decide what's cool for you. YOU find what catches your attention, show AI what you like, and then use it to help you move faster and make the trend your own.
What we're learning from Hiring Funnels:
Every Salon Has a Recruitment Story. Most Just Haven't Told It Yet.
Something we're seeing more and more: salon owners finishing a call with our team and going back to refilm their content.
Not because their brand is broken. Because for the first time, they're thinking about it from a candidate's perspective — and they're realizing those are two completely different lenses.
We call it the light bulb moment. And it happens a lot.
Client marketing shows the work. Recruitment marketing shows the people, the culture, the path. A candidate isn't asking will I love my hair here — they're asking will I believe in this place, will I belong, will I grow? Those answers don't live in a before-and-after. They live in the owner talking directly to camera. In a team member describing their Monday morning. In the story of someone who started there and built something.
That story exists in every salon. Most owners just haven't had a reason to tell it — until now. Part of what we do is help surface it and put it in front of the right people.
You don't need to figure it out before you start. That's what we're here for.
If you've never run those numbers, we built something for that.
Plug in your average service ticket, your daily client count, and how many weeks you've been waiting. The number on the other side is usually the moment salon owners stop thinking about hiring as an expense — and start thinking about it as the most urgent investment they can make.
🔥 What’s Happening:
Virtual Live Events You Don’t Want to Miss
Next Live Virtual Classes
Your next breakthrough could be just one class away. Here's what's happening live this week on BEAUTISTA:
Design Essentials | Summer Hair Revival: Hydration, Definition & Repair
August 17 | 10:00 AM ET
Help clients recover from sun, salt, and chlorine while learning restorative treatments and techniques for defining curls and coils.
Scruples | Illusionist Highlighting
August 17 | 10:00 AM ET
Explore Illusionist Color through eight shades while learning how to create tone, shine, and dimension with a deposit-only service.
Andis | Barbering Basics: A Stylist's Guide
August 17 | 11:00 AM ET
Build your barbering skills with essential clipper techniques and the basics of tapers and fades.
KEVIN.MURPHY | DE.CODE
August 17 | 11:00 AM ET
Get into color philosophy, hair diagnosis, client communication, color selection, correction, removal, and application.
OLAPLEX | Healthy Hair Express: 3 Minute Revenue Driver?
August 17 | 11:00 AM ET
Learn how a three-minute service upgrade can support hair repair AND create another revenue opportunity behind the chair.
K18 | The Science of Premature Hair Aging & FutureIQ
August 17 | 11:00 AM ET
Dig into the science of premature hair aging, the FutureIQ 90-day protocol, and how to confidently start the longevity conversation with clients.
Living Proof | Styling Lab: Smooth Styling
August 17 | 12:00 PM ET
From glass-like blowouts to smooth ponies, learn the tools, techniques, and product choices for creating sleek results across hair types.
Color Wow | Intro to Power of Wow
August 17 | 1:00 PM ET
Explore Color Wow and Curl Wow technologies while building confidence in product recommendations that support your clients AND retail sales.
Pravana | Glossing: Crafting Your Shine Cycle with HydraGloss
August 17 | 1:00 PM ET
Learn glossing techniques and pro formulations designed to save time and money behind the chair while creating the blonde looks clients are asking for.
Bonika Shears | Shear Knowledge: Mastering the Care and Truth About Your Shears
August 17 | 3:00 PM ET
Learn daily shear care, convex vs. bevel edges, adjustments you can make yourself, and what you need to know about sharpening.
Mizani | Wash & Go Hairstyling Made Easy for Curls
August 18 | 11:00 AM ET
Learn techniques for curl definition, reduced frizz, faster dry times, and personalized curl-care retail recommendations.
L'Oréal Professionnel | Blond Studio Essentials
August 18 | 12:00 PM ET
Get to know the Blond Studio portfolio and how to choose the right lightener for each client, technique, and desired result.
UNITE | Bridal Styling
August 18 | 12:00 PM ET
Learn advanced bridal styling from UNITE Creative Director Gary Baker PLUS how to elevate pricing, attract higher-end bridal clients, and position yourself as a premium bridal specialist.
Pureology | Bridal Hairstyling & the Business
August 18 | 1:00 PM ET
Master the art AND business of bridal with long-lasting styling, smart pricing, consultations, client flow, and systems to help prevent burnout.
Keratin Complex | Texture Masterclass
August 18 | 1:00 PM ET
Learn how to customize smoothing results and create services for curl definition, relaxer transitioning, protective styling, natural styling, and more.
L'Oréal Professionnel | Majirel Essentials
August 18 | 2:00 PM ET
Explore the improved Majirel formula and learn how to formulate for all hair formations while creating multidimensional color.
Redken | Lift & Tone Pro Connect
August 18 | 3:00 PM ET
Dive into Blonde IQ and Redken's lightener portfolio while learning product selection and application techniques for consistent blonde results.
(And if you’re reading this as a salon owner or educator — send your team. One class can shift an entire culture.)
👀 Watch This Space
(Jobs Worth Seeing)
👀 Watch This Space
Drift Salon |📍Verona, WI
OPEN ROLES
Brianna Kahle dreamed of owning a salon when she was just 10 years old. She and her childhood best friend even drew out the salon they imagined they would someday open together. Years later, that little-girl dream became Drift Salon—a four-chair salon just outside Madison built by a stylist and educator who believes that growth should never stop once you get behind the chair.
Now Brianna is growing Drift's team, and what caught our attention is that she's not just looking for someone to fill a chair. She's building the kind of salon she once dreamed about being part of.
Why Drift caught our attention:
They actually have clients for you. Drift says they're currently seeing more client demand than their team can keep up with and actively helps stylists build their books instead of leaving them to figure it all out alone.
Education isn't just something they put in a job post. Brianna came up through advanced education herself and built Drift around continued growth. Their BEAUTISTA opportunity includes ongoing education with L'Oréal, Redken, SalonCentric, and local educators.
You can develop a specialty. Drift is known for dimensional/lived-in color and hand-tied extensions, giving someone who wants to expand beyond the basics an opportunity to learn higher-ticket services. Their service menu includes customized foiling, dimensional glossing, and hand-tied extensions, with extension installs starting at $1,000.
It's small enough that you can help shape what comes next. This isn't walking into a 30-chair salon with everything already decided. Drift currently has a small team, and Brianna is actively building the next chapter.
Collaboration over competition. Their recruiting message specifically says stylists aren't competing for clients. They describe the environment as team-driven, with autonomy when you want it and support when you need it.
Clients seem to feel what they're trying to create. Drift has a 4.9 rating across 68 reviews, with clients repeatedly describing the salon as relaxing, inviting, and a place where they feel listened to. Drift Salon
If you're near Madison and you're looking for a salon where you can build your book, keep learning, and be part of the growth instead of simply stepping into someone else's finished story... Drift might be worth a conversation.
👉 Apply with your portfolio + watch the video to experience the space for yourself
🎤 Educators Wanted: Your Dream Role Just Went Live
Ready to teach, inspire, and represent iconic brands?
💥 Educator roles at Pureology, Matrix and Kérastase are now LIVE on BEAUTISTA.
Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rising educator, this is your moment.
🔦 BEAUTISTA Spotlight
Victoria
📍Denver, CO
🎓 Aveda Institute Denver
Meet Victoria, a Denver-based hairstylist whose personal motto caught our attention right away: “Challenge Over Comfort.” After graduating from Aveda Institute Denver in 2023, Victoria has built her craft around lived-in color, blonde transformations, extensions, balayage, and vivids—with healthy hair at the center of it all. What we love about her portfolio is that she isn't just focused on creating beautiful hair in the moment. She talks about creating results that actually last, giving clients honest recommendations, and treating great hair as a partnership between the professional and the person sitting in their chair.
What stood out to us:
🎨 Specializes in balayage, color, extensions, and vivids.
✨ Passionate about lived-in color and blonde transformations.
🖤 Prioritizes hair health and integrity alongside the finished result.
🤝 Believes in honest recommendations and building genuine relationships with her clients.
📚 Graduated from Aveda Institute Denver in 2023 and continues to focus on growing her technical skills and business.
📍 Building her career and clientele in the Denver area.
💬 And we keep coming back to her motto: “Challenge Over Comfort.” That's a pretty great mindset for anyone building a career in this industry.
Victoria is using her BEAUTISTA portfolio not only to showcase her work, but to tell potential clients exactly what she stands for and the kind of experience they can expect in her chair. Go check out her work and show a fellow BEAUTISTA some love!
👉 Connect with Victoria, explore her portfolio, and follow her journey on BEAUTISTA.
Want this for your students?
Reach out to hello@beautista.com and we’ll show you how to make it happen.
💫 WE WANT TO FEATURE YOU
Have a story about how BEAUTISTA helped or inspired your career? Email us at hello@beautista.com to be spotlighted in an upcoming issue.
💡 BEAUTISTA Tips & Tricks
Bioelements is Now BEAUTISTA's First Skincare Education Partner.
If you know us, you know we are OBSESSED with education. We can't tell you how many messages and emails we get from people in our community telling us they took a free class on BEAUTISTA, learned something new, felt more confident in their skills, and then had the courage to go after the career opportunity they wanted. THAT is why we work so hard to bring incredible education to this community.
And now we're expanding that access for our estheticians! American Spa just announced Bioelements as BEAUTISTA's first professional skincare education partner. Bioelements will kick things off September 17 with Bioelements 2.0: The Next Facial Evolution, a FREE 90-minute virtual class covering professional products, advanced facial protocols, treatment techniques, customization, resurfacing, extractions, microbiome health, and more.
The tip? SIGN UP. Take the free class. Learn something you didn't know yesterday. Add another skill to your toolbox. Build your confidence. You never know which class, educator, technique, or new piece of knowledge will help you take the next step in your career.
📅 Thursday, September 17, 2026 at 11:00 AM EDT
⌚ 1h 30m
💌 Pass It On
Know someone who needs this kind of real talk in their beauty journey?
Share The TRIMM with a fellow BEAUTISTA and help them grow, too.
Want too know more? Click here for last week's newsletter.
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