Talk behind their back.
- Jen Martinelli
- May 31
- 13 min read
“What you think of me is none of my business.
What you say about me when I'm not around tells me everything.”
🖤 From Jen: Talk Behind Their Back.
Hi BEAUTISTA Fam.
Last week my phone stopped working. The battery wouldn't charge, it kept overheating, and it would randomly turn off in the middle of whatever I was doing. I have AppleCare so I wasn't worried. I'll make an appointment, they'll fix it, and I'll be on my way. Except it really didn't go down that way.. and thats when i learned a big lesson in customer service from Apple.
When I got there, they ran diagnostics and confirmed a hardware component had failed. The problem? It was apparently the same component failing for customers all across North America, and because of that the replacement part was backordered for 7–10 business days.
Their solution was: order the part, call me when it arrives ( in 7-10 business days), and then repair the phone. I just stared at them.
My phone was completely unusable. No texts. No email. No navigation. No grocery pickup. No podcasts. No Audible. Matt's Tesla even runs through my phone app, so I couldn't drive his car. Everything was essentially on pause. For 7–10 business days. I remember saying, "There has to be a better solution than sending people home with a broken phone especially when this is a known Apple issue."
I wasn't rude, but I was definitely frustrated. That's when a support manager walked over. He pulled out his iPad and started working through option after option. "What if we do this... no." "What if we pull inventory from another location... no." "What about this... no." Honestly, I have no idea whether he was truly exhausting every option available or simply pretending to look up other options. Because this was a known issue affecting customers across North America, I assumed he'd probably had this conversation many times before. Maybe he already knew there weren't any other options. Maybe not. I'll never know.
I started feeling calmer. Not because he had solved the problem. Because he was trying so badly to solve the problem. Then he walked away to speak with a few employees and I overheard him say "I'm committed to getting this right for her." A few minutes later, I heard him say something similar to someone else. Then again.
He wasn't saying it to me. He was saying it to his team. The funny thing is... he never actually solved my problem. My phone was still broken. I still didn't have a solution. I was still facing 7–10 business days without a phone. Yet I left feeling like "it is what it is" versus mad and frustrated.
Why? Because I trusted him. The moment I believed he genuinely cared and was as invested in solving the problem as I was, my frustration started to disappear. The problem hadn't changed. But my perception of it had.
It reminded me of a chapter I'm reading in the book Your Next Five Moves. The author talks about something he calls "talking behind your employees' backs." Not gossip. Praise. His point is that yes, you should absolutely tell people they did a great job. But sometimes the most meaningful compliment is the one they weren't supposed to hear. The one you say to someone else. The one that eventually makes its way back to them.
Psychologically, it's powerful because it feels more authentic. People naturally trust it more because there was nothing to gain from saying it. You weren't performing. You genuinely meant it.
That's exactly what happened to me at Apple.
The manager had already told me he wanted to help. But hearing him say it to someone else made me believe him. And it made me think about how often we miss opportunities to build people up when they're not in the room. Employees. Friends. Family members. Colleagues. Your kids.
Have you ever heard through someone else how a person really feels about you? Maybe a friend told you that someone was speaking highly of you. Maybe a colleague mentioned that your boss was praising your work when you weren't in the room. Didn't it feel different? Not because it was more complimentary. Because it felt more believable. There was no audience. No performance. No reason to say it other than they genuinely meant it.
I think that's why this lesson is so powerful. As leaders, parents, business owners, educators, and friends, we spend a lot of time telling people who they are to their face. But sometimes the greatest impact comes when we tell other people. Think about your kids. Imagine them overhearing you tell someone else how proud you are of them. Think about an employee hearing that you were bragging about their growth. Think about a client overhearing you tell a colleague how much you appreciate them and how grateful you are that they trust you.
People remember those moments because they feel real. And something interesting happens when people hear those things. They start stepping into them. They begin seeing themselves through that lens. They start becoming the version of themselves they believe others already see. Sometimes confidence isn't built by what we tell people about themselves. It's built by what they overhear us saying when they're not in the room.
This week, tell someone they're doing a great job. Then tell someone else.
Because sometimes the most powerful words aren't the ones spoken to us. They're the ones spoken about us.
xoxo
-Jen Martinelli
🚀 The Shift: Weekly Mindset + Strategy Upgrade.
People trust what they overhear more than what they're told directly.
Why? Because when someone says something to us, part of our brain wonders:
Are they just being nice?
Are they trying to motivate me?
Are they saying this because they have to?
But when we hear someone say something positive about us to a third party, our defenses drop.
Psychologists call this social proof and third-party validation. We naturally place more trust in information when it comes from an indirect source because it feels less manipulated and more authentic.
Use Third-Party Praise
This week, don't just compliment someone directly. Praise them to someone else. Tell a coworker how great another teammate handled a situation. Tell your spouse how proud you are of your child while your child is within earshot. Tell a client how much you appreciate another client. Mention someone's work ethic, kindness, growth, or character to another person.
Because humans often believe what they overhear more than what they're told directly.
When praise is delivered indirectly, it feels more authentic. There's no audience. No performance. No expectation of a reaction. It feels genuine. And something powerful happens when people hear those words make their way back to them. They start seeing themselves differently. They start acting differently. They begin stepping into the version of themselves they believe others already see. Try it this week.
Say something positive about someone when they aren't in the room. Better yet, say it when they're within earshot. You may end up changing how they see themselves.
🎙️ In Case You Missed It (ICYMI)
If you missed it this week, one thing was everywhere:
👉 Healthy hair is the new luxury. Not just beautiful hair. Healthy hair.
Across nearly every class, brands were talking about repair, scalp health, predictable color results, shine, treatments, and helping clients maintain their hair long after they leave the salon.
Here’s what stood out:
Blonding is still one of the hottest categories in beauty.
Redken's Lift & Tone Pro Connect and Shades ALK Pro Connect both focused on helping stylists create brighter, healthier blondes while delivering consistent results and increasing revenue opportunities behind the chair.
Scalp care continues to move from "extra" to essential.
Biolage's Essential Scalp Certification reinforced what we've been seeing for months now: healthier hair starts with a healthier scalp. Stylists who can confidently diagnose scalp concerns and recommend solutions are creating stronger client trust and opening new service opportunities.
Repair is becoming part of every service.
K18's Style Lab focused on integrating repair directly into styling services, while L'Oréal Professionnel's Care & Style Essentials highlighted products designed to strengthen, protect, and restore hair while still delivering beautiful finishes.
Shine is having a major moment.
Between Moroccanoil's Shine and Seal and L'Oréal Professionnel's Dia Essentials, the message was clear: clients are asking for glossy, reflective, expensive-looking hair that feels healthy and low maintenance.
Smart consultations are becoming a revenue driver.
Classes like Redken's Haircare & Treatments Pro Connect weren't just about products—they were about becoming the expert. The better you understand treatments, home care, and customized recommendations, the more value you create for your clients.
The biggest takeaway? The future of beauty isn't just creating great hair. It's helping clients keep it healthy, maintain it longer, and trust you as their go-to expert.
(And if you’re a salon owner or educator—send your team. One class can shift performance fast.)
💻 Tech-Forward:
Where tech meets beauty (and your next big move begins).
My son recently informed me—at the absolute last minute—that he had a states test coming up.
Not just a few states. All 50. The spelling. The abbreviations. The locations. And he had two days to learn them. Because why would he tell me this sooner?! 😅
As I was thinking through how to help him, I opened Claude. Claude is an AI tool similar to ChatGPT, and I had an idea. Instead of flashcards, I asked it to build a football-themed game. Every correct answer earned football cards. Common cards. Rare cards. Legendary cards. I added a leaderboard. I added myself, Matt, and his sister as competitors. The rounds started easy with abbreviations and got progressively harder until he had to identify states completely on his own.
Then I added a "collect all the cards" challenge. He played for hours. Not because he wanted to study. Because he wanted to beat us. By the end of the next day, he knew all 50 states.
The moral of this story is that I built a custom learning game for my son and I've never written a single line of code in my life.
Most people are using AI to write captions, emails, or social media posts. That's helpful. But lately I've been thinking bigger. What if you're a student and you build a study game for a big test?
What if you're a beauty professional and ask AI to analyze your client list and identify who spends the most, who hasn't been in recently, or which services generate the most revenue?
What if you're a salon owner and build a hiring scorecard, a commission calculator, or a training tool for your team?
What if you're a school and create custom quizzes, challenges, or learning experiences that keep students engaged?
You don't need to know how to code. You just need an idea and the willingness to ask, "Can AI help me build this?" Because after watching my son memorize all 50 states in a day, I'm convinced we're only scratching the surface of what's possible.
What we're learning from Hiring Funnels:
Before You Post a Job, Know Your Market.
One of the first things we do before launching any hiring campaign is look at how many beauty professionals actually live and work near the salon. It's not glamorous — but it's one of the most important inputs in the whole strategy.
A salon in a major metro might have access to 1–2 million local beauty pros within a reasonable radius. A salon in a smaller market might be working with 50,000. That gap shapes everything: how long it takes to see results, how many candidates you can realistically expect, and what you should actually be optimizing for.
Here's the tip: if you're struggling to hire, ask yourself whether you have a funnel problem or a market problem. A funnel problem means qualified people exist — they're just not finding you, or not applying when they do. A market problem means the local pool is genuinely thin, and your strategy needs to account for that.
They're not the same problem and they don't have the same fix. Funnel problems are what we solve. Market problems are what we plan around. Knowing which one you're dealing with is the starting point for everything else.
🔥 What’s Happening:
Virtual Live Events You Don’t Want to Miss
Next Live Virtual Classes
📅 June 1 | 11:00 AM EDT
Mizani – Texture Haircare Essentials
Texture isn't a trend. It's a specialty. Learn how to assess curls, coils, and waves, prescribe customized regimens, and build client loyalty through personalization.
📅 June 1 | 12:00 PM EDT
Color WOW – Intro to Let's Get Reels
Being talented isn't enough if nobody knows about it. The team behind more than 1 million followers is sharing how to create scroll-stopping content, build your personal brand, and grow your audience.
📅 June 1 | 1:00 PM EDT
Bioelements – Add-On Skin Services Built for the Bowl
One of the easiest ways to increase revenue isn't adding more clients—it's creating more value during the appointments you already have. Learn how to incorporate quick skincare experiences directly into salon services.
📅 June 1 | 1:30 PM EDT
Pureology – Color Care Certification
Clients don't just want beautiful color. They want it to last. Learn how to build trust, improve retention, and increase retail revenue through better color care recommendations.
📅 June 2 | 12:00 PM EDT
L'Oréal Professionnel – Blond Studio Essentials
Blonding remains one of the most requested—and profitable—specialties in beauty. This class dives deep into selecting the right lightener for every client and creating customized blonding results.
📅 June 4 | 1:00 PM EDT
Redken – Shades EQ Pro Connect
Glossing continues to be one of the easiest ways to elevate results and increase ticket value. Learn how to create seamless color and integrate glossing into your existing service menu.
The takeaway?
The professionals growing the fastest right now aren't trying to master everything at once. They're becoming known for something.
(And if you’re reading this as a salon owner or educator — send your team. One class can shift an entire culture.)
👀 Watch This Space
(Jobs Worth Seeing)
👀 Watch This Space
HIP Salon | 📍Schaumburg, IL
OPEN ROLES
What if the thing holding your career back isn't your talent? What if it's that you're spending too much time doing things you don't actually love?
One of the things that caught my attention about HIP Salon is that they aren't trying to make every stylist do everything. For more than 20 years, they've built their salon around a departmentalized model. In simple terms, that means stylists are encouraged to focus on their strengths and specialize in the work they love most. Precision cutters focus on cutting. Extension artists focus on extensions. Colorists focus on color.
That may sound obvious, but it's actually pretty rare. Many beauty professionals spend years feeling like they have to be everything to everyone. Take every client. Offer every service. Say yes to everything.
HIP Salon takes a different approach. They're currently hiring a Precision Hairstylist—someone who genuinely loves haircutting, styling, consultations, and creating beautiful finished looks. Not someone who wants to squeeze in a haircut between color appointments all day long. Someone who wants to master the craft.
Why this opportunity stands out:
✂️ Focus on your specialty – Precision cutting, styling, finishing work, and client experience.
🎓 Education is built into the culture – In-salon training, brand-led classes, travel education opportunities, and an education fund for classes and professional tools.
💰 Benefits that support a long-term career – PTO, health, vision, dental, and 401(k) options.
🤝 A team environment, not a competitive environment – HIP Salon describes its culture as professional, upbeat, collaborative, and full of personality.
🏆 Established reputation – More than 20 years serving the Schaumburg community with a loyal clientele and premium service experience.
One line from their opportunity really stood out:
"Your specialty is respected. Your growth is supported."
In an industry where many professionals feel pressure to do everything, there's something refreshing about a salon that encourages people to become exceptional at the thing they love most.
📍 Schaumburg, IL
📅 Full-time or Part-time
👉 Apply with your portfolio + watch the video to experience the space for yourself
🎤 Educators Wanted: Your Dream Role Just Went Live
Ready to teach, inspire, and represent iconic brands?
💥 Educator roles at Pureology, Matrix and Kérastase are now LIVE on BEAUTISTA.
Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rising educator, this is your moment.
🔦 BEAUTISTA Spotlight
Clarissa Mashburn | Reno, NV | Cosmo
When most people think about experience, they think about years. When I looked at Clarissa Mashburn's portfolio, I saw something different. I saw someone who has spent 25 years staying curious.
In an industry where trends, techniques, and client expectations are constantly evolving, it would be easy to rely on what you already know. Clarissa has done the opposite. Her portfolio reflects someone who has continued investing in her craft through hair replacement systems, extensions, wigs, relaxers, microblading, lash extensions, and ongoing education throughout her career.
What stood out most wasn't a specific certification or service.
It was her perspective. As an Indigenous woman, Clarissa shares that she understands the deep cultural significance of hair and approaches every service with care, respect, and appreciation for the connection between hair and identity. That mindset comes through in everything she writes.
Today, she owns her own business, Clarissa Styles, serves clients in Reno, Nevada, and continues looking for opportunities to grow, learn, and collaborate with brands that value education and innovation.
One line from her portfolio really caught our attention: "The possibilities in this field are limitless. "After 25 years behind the chair, many professionals talk about what they've already accomplished.
Clarissa is still talking about what she wants to learn next.
And that's exactly the kind of mindset that keeps careers growing.
Want this for your students?
Reach out to hello@beautista.com and we’ll show you how to make it happen.
💫 WE WANT TO FEATURE YOU
Have a story about how BEAUTISTA helped or inspired your career? Email us at hello@beautista.com to be spotlighted in an upcoming issue.
💡 BEAUTISTA Tips & Tricks
🎓 School Leaders: Need Help Getting More Out of BEAUTISTA?
One of the biggest mistakes we see is schools launching BEAUTISTA once and assuming students will figure everything out from there. The schools seeing the strongest results are the ones that continue reinforcing it throughout the student journey.
That's why we've launched a recurring National Leadership Onboarding every second Tuesday.
In this live session, we'll show your leadership team how to leverage BEAUTISTA beyond just portfolios.
You'll learn how schools are using BEAUTISTA to support:
📈 Enrollment – Showcase student success stories, portfolios, and outcomes to prospective students.
📣 Marketing – Create shareable student work, school visibility, and stronger digital presence.
💼 Placement – Help students stand out to employers through portfolios, resumes, QR codes, and opportunities.
🤝 Student Engagement – Integrate BEAUTISTA into the classroom experience and keep students actively building their professional brand before graduation.
We'll also cover portfolio best practices, classroom launch strategies, curriculum integration, and answer your questions live.
Next Session:📅
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
🕒 3:45 PM ET
💻 Live on Zoom
Whether you're brand new to BEAUTISTA or looking to increase adoption across your school, this session will help your team feel confident, aligned, and ready to maximize the platform for both students and school outcomes.
👉 Bring your questions. We'll answer them live.
Want to be featured on The TRIMM? Email us and we’ll take it from there: hello@beautista.com
💌 Pass It On
Know someone who needs this kind of real talk in their beauty journey?
Share The TRIMM with a fellow BEAUTISTA and help them grow, too.
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