Move in silence. Not alone.
Updated: Sep 8
“Some things need to grow roots before they need an audience.”
🖤 From Jen: Move in Silence. Not Alone.
Hi BEAUTISTA Fam,
I was talking to one of my high school friends today and she told me she got a BIG promotion. I was so happy for her. I told her how proud I was, how much she deserved it, and then proceeded to question her on every detail of the new role. I poured into her for a while, and then she started talking about all the people she wasn’t going to tell. You know the people. They’ll smile to your face, but secretly don’t think you deserve it. They follow you on social media. They saw the post. They know exactly what you’re doing. But they never like it, comment on it, share it, encourage you or support you. The lurkers. We all have them.
We started talking about something I have believed in for a LONG time: moving in silence. In a world where oversharing has basically become the norm, I have always been the opposite. Very few people get access to what I’m working on, what I’m thinking about doing next, or what’s happening behind the scenes while I’m building something. Sometimes nobody does.
Then we got off the phone, I opened social media, and almost immediately I saw this image 👆. The one at the top of this post. It was a split photo of stadium seats. On one side, almost every seat was empty with the word “Support.” On the other side, the stands were packed with the word “Congratulations.” THAT was literally the conversation I was just having.
What is so true about that image is that the people congratulating you at the end aren’t always the people who supported you while you were getting there. Some of them watched. Some questioned it. Some may have even made you question it. But once it works? Congratulations are easy.
And I’ve been thinking about where this mindset started for me. Maybe it was not always feeling supported by friends or even family when I was younger. I don’t really know. But I see it happening with my daughter now. She volunteers and coaches cheer for the younger girls in our town. It takes a LOT of time, especially on top of schoolwork and her own cheer schedule. But she loves those kids. She loves coaching them. It feels rewarding to her. And as her mom, I also know this is the kind of stuff that builds character. You show up when you said you would. Other people are counting on you. You learn how to lead. You do something even when there isn’t a paycheck attached to it.
She is SO proud of it. Then I started overhearing comments from friends who weren’t doing it. “That sucks.” “I can’t believe you do that.” “You’re going to miss Saturday night if you have to coach a game.”
And I watched it get into her head. Suddenly she was questioning something she had loved before anybody gave her an opinion about it. Why AM I doing this? I don’t get paid. Nobody cares. Maybe this is stupid. And that was when I talked to her about moving in silence. Not hiding what she was doing. Just realizing she didn’t have to keep opening it up for commentary. Not everybody needs access to something while you’re still building your own confidence around it. And funny enough... it wasn’t too long before some of those same girls wanted to coach too.
I learned a long time ago that moving in silence can be a superpower. And I think part of the reason is that when you’re building something BIG, you are SUPER vulnerable. You don’t have all the answers yet. You’re making mistakes. You’re changing strategies. You’re trying to figure out whether the thing is even going to work. You’re building the grit and confidence required to keep going. And that is probably the WORST time to give too many people access to it. Not just random people with opinions. Sometimes it’s the people you genuinely thought were in your corner. That’s the sneaky part. A friend makes one comment. A family member questions whether it’s realistic. Someone you respect doesn’t seem nearly as excited about it as you thought they would be. They may not even mean to discourage you, but when you’re still figuring it out yourself, those comments can hit WAY harder than they normally would.
And there’s actually some psychology behind this, which sent me down a rabbit hole because there seems to be conflicting advice everywhere. We’ve all heard, “Tell people your goals! It will hold you accountable.” And that can absolutely be true. If you tell your friend you’re running a marathon, knowing she is going to ask you whether you got up and trained this morning may be EXACTLY what gets you out of bed. If posting your 6 AM workout keeps you accountable to going to the gym, POST IT. If you tell a mentor about a goal because you respect that person and you know they’re going to push you, that can be incredibly powerful.
But there’s also research around something really interesting. With certain goals - especially goals tied to who we want to become - getting recognition for the intention can give us a little bit of the feeling of accomplishment before we’ve actually accomplished anything. There’s a difference between sharing something because it helps you do the work and sharing something because the reaction makes you feel like you did the work. And that difference matters.
And I struggle with this balance all the time as an entrepreneur. We live in a world where people follow PEOPLE, not logos. There are parts of my life and the BEAUTISTA journey I should share because connection matters. My son is an athlete and there is a very real reason for him to build a social presence if he wants high school coaches to see what he can do. There are absolutely times when you have to put yourself out there, tell your story and BE SEEN. So moving in silence does not mean becoming invisible. It means being really intentional about who gets access to what and when.
I think there are some dreams that need accountability. And then there are the BIG ones. The ones that are rooted so deeply in your purpose that they are going to require years of work, failure, rejection, changes, blood, sweat and tears. Those are the ones I protect the most. Because when something is still fragile, one careless comment can change your thinking. Someone else’s fear can become your fear. Someone else’s inability to see the vision can suddenly have you questioning whether you saw it correctly in the first place. Sometimes you need to give the idea enough time to become YOURS before everybody else gets a vote.
People have always told me how private I am. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I actually really like that about myself. There is something incredibly freeing about not needing other people’s reaction in order to keep going. Things can get messy. I can fail. I can change my mind. I can try again. And I don't have to narrate every second of it while it's happening.
There IS a downside to being this private, though. If nobody knows what you’re trying to do, it’s also really easy to quit and never tell anybody. There’s no accountability. No one is asking, Did you do the thing you said you were going to do? So I don’t think moving in silence means moving alone. I think the big things sometimes need a VERY small circle. And I’ve learned that your inner circle isn’t automatically the people you’ve known the longest. It’s the people who have proven they genuinely want you to win. The ones who will tell you the truth without planting their own fears in your head, push you when you want to quit, hold you accountable, and aren’t secretly uncomfortable when you start outgrowing the version of you they’re used to.
Maybe that’s why the people quietly building have always fascinated me. You don’t hear much from them. They’re not announcing every next move. And then six months or two years later they show up with something and everyone is like, WAIT... when did THAT happen?
Again, I’m not saying sharing is bad. Share the workout if it gets you to the gym. Tell people you’re running the marathon if knowing they’re going to ask keeps you training. Put yourself out there when being seen is part of getting where you want to go.
But the BIG dreams? The ones that are still fragile. The ones you’re going to have to fight for. The ones you care so much about that the wrong opinion at the wrong time could actually get in your head? Maybe everybody doesn’t need access to those.
Pick your people. The ones who REALLY want you to win. The ones who will hold you accountable when you want to quit. Let them in. Everybody else can find out when there’s something to congratulate you for.
Move in silence. Not alone.
xoxo,
Jen Martinelli
🚀 The Shift: Weekly Mindset + Strategy Upgrade.
Check Your Circle.
Think about the people you go to when you have a BIG idea, a scary decision, or something you’re excited about. Who makes you feel more clear after you talk to them? Who challenges you in a way that actually helps? Who genuinely wants you to win?
And who tends to leave you second-guessing yourself, shrinking the idea, or explaining why it probably won’t work?
This week, pay attention to that. You don’t have to cut anyone out of your life. But maybe not everyone gets the same level of access to your dreams, decisions and next moves.
Your inner circle should be made up of people who can tell you the truth without making you smaller. And sometimes, your circle might be really small. There have been moments in my life when I didn’t really have anyone to lean on. It was me. And as hard as that was, it forced me to keep going without applause, trust my own instincts, and come out the other side stronger.
So your circle doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes it’s a few trusted people. Sometimes it’s one person. And sometimes, for a season, it’s YOU.
Know whose voice deserves a seat at the table - including your own.
🎙️ In Case You Missed It (ICYMI)
We had 12 classes in three days covering color, blonding, styling, texture AND the business behind the chair. And if you couldn’t make them live, you can catch them on-demand.
Matrix — Blonding for All: choosing the right lightener, application + processing strategies, and how to use blonding to build client loyalty.
Matrix — SoColor 101: formulation, mixing + processing and how to confidently use SoColor across hair types and textures.
Matrix — Acidic vs. Alkaline Toning: when to shift the base, when to stay acidic, and how pH changes your finished result.
L’Oréal Professionnel — Blond Studio Essentials: understanding the Blond Studio lightener portfolio and choosing the right product for the result you want.
L’Oréal Professionnel — Dia Essentials: Dia Light vs. Dia Color, glossing, toning, grey coverage and high-shine demi-permanent color.
OLAPLEX — Hollywood Glam: polished updos, high-shine waves and sleek ponytails with a focus on structure, longevity and control.
Biolage — Volume & Versatility: styling for volume, texture and smoothing PLUS how to confidently recommend products behind the chair.
Bumble and bumble — Styling Foundations: blow-dry fundamentals, round-brush volume, smooth finishes, product control and lasting shape.
Malibu C Professional — Mastering the Vivid Corrective Color Journey: consultation, underlying pigment, oxidation and taking the fear out of vivid color correction.
OLAPLEX — The Business of Backbar: how to turn your backbar into more than product use—think consultations, treatment menus, marketing and business growth.
VoCÊ Haircare — Styling & Extensions Intensive: effortless everyday volume, techniques clients can recreate at home and using styling to support retail + retention.
KEVIN.MURPHY — HAIR.REHAB: how to identify changing client hair concerns and choose customized treatment solutions for condition + texture.
And yep... these are FREE on BEAUTISTA.
(And if you're a salon owner, school leader, or educator—share these with your team. One class can change a service. A habit of learning can change a career.)
💻 Tech-Forward:
Where tech meets beauty (and your next big move begins).
Relatable Content Is King.
I am OBSESSED with this ad 👆.
“Worn by supermodels in London and dads in Ohio.”
And if there were ever a mic-drop moment for all the times I’ve talked about authenticity being king, this would be it.
Which probably sounds strange in a section called Tech Forward. But that’s exactly the point.
AI does not replace the human. It enhances the human. It can help you brainstorm faster, write faster, edit faster, repurpose faster and get more content out the door. But YOU still have to give it the thing that makes people care. The observation. The inside joke. The everyday frustration. The sentence your customer has actually said out loud.
The thing that makes someone look at a post and think, OMG, I feel seen.
That New Balance ad works because it doesn’t sound like marketing. It sounds like somebody noticed something true.
And that is what brands, salons, stylists, schools and students should be trying to do more of.
Content that acknowledges real life and speaks to people like a peer builds trust over time.
So what does that actually look like?
Salon + Spa Owners: Stop only posting “We’re hiring” or pretty salon photos. Talk about the REAL stuff. “For the stylist who wants to grow her book but still make it to dinner.” “For the esthetician who loves her clients but is tired of doing everything alone.” “Yes, we care about your numbers. We also care if you’re miserable.”
Brands: Stop making every post sound like a product brochure. Talk about the situations your customer actually lives through. The color correction that takes six hours. The client who says “just a trim” and shows you four inches. The product everyone reaches for when humidity decides to ruin the day.
Beauty Pros: Your content does not have to make you look perfect. Talk about the client questions you get every week, the mistakes you made early in your career, the service you used to hate doing, the thing nobody warned you about when you got behind the chair. THAT is what makes people feel like they know you.
Students: You don’t have to wait until you’re an expert to have something worth saying. Document what you’re learning. “Things I thought would be easy in beauty school that absolutely were not.” “What I learned after my first real color correction.” “Three things I wish I knew before starting cosmetology school.”
Schools: Stop only posting graduation photos and enrollment deadlines. Show what students are actually experiencing. First haircut nerves. The first client who requests them again. The moment color theory finally clicks. The reality of starting over in a new career at 35. THAT is the story.
And THEN bring in AI.
Give it the raw thought. Give it the story. Give it the thing your client said. Give it the frustration you hear from stylists every day. Ask it to help you turn that into a Reel hook, a caption, an email, five social posts or ten different angles.
But don’t ask AI to invent your humanity for you. Use AI to make the human story travel further.
What we're learning from Hiring Funnels:
The 5-Year Rule Could Be Costing You
We hear it constantly from salon owners: I need someone with a full book and five years of experience. We get it. Experience matters in beauty. Hands-on hours behind the chair are real. This isn't an industry where you can fake it.
But this is a pattern showing up across industries right now. LinkedIn research found that job postings with rigid experience requirements get significantly fewer applicants — and don't predict better performance. Harvard Business Review calls it "experience inflation" — roles that required two years of experience in 2017 required five by 2022. The talent was always there. The requirements just kept moving.
In beauty it shows up like this: the candidate with three years and the right drive doesn't wait around. They find the salon that sees their potential. The one who was six months away from being exceptional with the right mentorship — gone.
The question worth asking isn't just do they have five years? It's what would six months with us turn this person into? Some of the best hires happen when a salon owner stays open to the gem they didn't expect to find. The five-year requirement is a filter. Just make sure it isn't filtering out your next best hire.
And if the number surprises you, that's what Gavin is here for.
🔥 What’s Happening:
Virtual Live Events You Don’t Want to Miss
Next Live Virtual Classes
Next week is PACKED. Cutting, color, retail, social media, textured hair... there’s basically something for everyone.
FEATURED:
Forget Follower Count. Here’s What Actually Makes Clients Choose You
Harper Ellis
September 10 · 1:00 PM ET
Okay, THIS one needs to be at the top of your list. Casey Hicks, co-owner and founder of Harper Ellis Hair Co., is breaking down why you do NOT need 100K followers to build a book full of dream clients. The focus is on being known for the right thing, by the right people—and why your VALUE matters more than follower count.
REGISTER FREE HERE →https://beautista.com/watch/open/forget-follower-count
Mizani — Curl Haircutting Foundations
September 8 · 11:00 AM ET
Preview Mizani’s signature Aircut system and learn the five glide techniques used to create shape + movement in textured hair.
Scruples — Hypnotic Single-Step Creme Lowlights
September 8 · 11:00 AM ET
Create rich dimensional color in one step using built-in fillers—no pre-filling required.
VoCÊ Haircare — Styling & Extensions Intensive
September 8 · 11:00 AM ET
Everyday volume, foundational styling techniques clients can recreate at home, PLUS how to turn better styling conversations into retail + retention.
Bonika Shears — Beyond the Haircut with Derek J
September 8 · 3:00 PM ET
Everything you probably SHOULD have been taught about your shears: maintenance, edges, adjustments, sharpening and how to protect one of your biggest tool investments.
Redken — Honey Melt: Trending Copper Pro Connect
September 8 · 4:00 PM ET
Learn the Honey Copper Melt using Shades EQ, including formulation, seamless lived-in transitions and those high-shine results clients are asking for.
Redken — Lift & Tone Pro Connect
September 9 · 1:00 PM ET
A deep dive into Blonde IQ + the Redken lightener portfolio so you know which product to reach for in different blonding scenarios.
Matrix — Make Bank With Retail
September 9 · 4:00 PM ET
If retail feels awkward, TAKE THIS ONE. Learn how your voice, body language and the questions you ask can make selling products feel way more natural.
Redken — Shades EQ Pro Connect
September 10 · 11:00 AM ET
Build your glossing confidence with Shades EQ + Shades EQ Bonder Inside and learn how to add glossing services to your menu.
Amika — Cutting With Intention Sneak Peek
September 10 · 11:00 AM ET
Go beyond copying a haircut and learn the WHY behind shape, weight, movement and sectioning.
Matrix — Super Sync & Tonal Control 101
September 10 · 4:00 PM ET
Acidic vs. alkaline demi-permanent color, formulation, mixing + processing and how to use Matrix demi color to grow and retain clients.
And yep... they’re ALL FREE on BEAUTISTA.
(And if you’re reading this as a salon owner or educator — send your team. One class can shift an entire culture.)
👀 Watch This Space
(Jobs Worth Seeing)
👀 Watch This Space
Salon Cabelo & Spa |📍Westwood, MA
OPEN ROLES
This one caught my attention because Salon Cabelo isn’t asking stylists to fit their entire life around the salon. They’ve built the role around flexibility, growth and giving people room to build a career that actually works for them.
A few things that made me stop:
45% commission with no product or color deductions
Flexible scheduling with control over your book + availability
Ongoing education across cutting, color, extensions, retail and more
Support for certifications and developing new specialties
A busy, high-traffic location for stylists still building clientele
Two weeks paid vacation after your first year
And something I REALLY like: if you’re not ready to make a full-time move, they’re open to you starting part-time and seeing if the fit feels right
But more than the benefits, it’s the way they talk about their team. The owners built Salon Cabelo around trust, flexibility and a drama-free culture where stylists are encouraged to grow without competing with each other. That matters.
Changing salons is a BIG decision. I love seeing a salon acknowledge that instead of pretending it isn’t.
Why I’d want to work here: I can keep building my book, keep learning, have some control over my schedule AND work somewhere that seems to understand I have a life outside the salon.
🎤 Educators Wanted: Your Dream Role Just Went Live
Ready to teach, inspire, and represent iconic brands?
💥 Educator roles at Pureology, Matrix and Kérastase are now LIVE on BEAUTISTA.
Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rising educator, this is your moment.
🔦 BEAUTISTA Spotlight
Toni Rossetti 📍Mason, OH
🎓 Aveda Institute West Chester
Toni is already a Licensed Advanced Esthetician and is now back in school adding cosmetology to her skill set, with graduation coming up in October 2026. She has three years of experience, is currently working as a Medical Receptionist/Licensed Esthetician at Cincinnati Plastic Surgery, and she’s officially open to opportunity.
Toni grew up with a mom in the industry and says she always wanted to be just like her. Having experienced what it feels like to be misunderstood or insecure herself, she wants her clients to leave her chair feeling welcome and confident in their own skin.
And she’s not waiting until graduation to start building her career. Her BEAUTISTA portfolio is PACKED with work—hair, skin, makeup and more—and she’s already documenting the range of skills she’s developing before she ever walks across that graduation stage.
She’s also maintaining 95% attendance and a 95% average on her school tests, which tells you a little something about how seriously she’s taking this next chapter. :)
Licensed esthetician + future cosmetologist + a portfolio already doing the talking.
Toni is open to opportunities and willing to relocate to Cincinnati or Columbus, OH.
👉 Connect with Toni, explore his portfolio, and follow his journey on BEAUTISTA.
Want this for your students?
Reach out to hello@beautista.com and we’ll show you how to make it happen.
💫 WE WANT TO FEATURE YOU
Have a story about how BEAUTISTA helped or inspired your career? Email us at hello@beautista.com to be spotlighted in an upcoming issue.
💡 BEAUTISTA Tips & Tricks
Missed the ChatGPT Bootcamp? Watch It On-Demand.
This class is SO aligned with what we talk about every week in The TRIMM.
Summit — ChatGPT Bootcamp with Kim Light-Pearson
This one is all about using AI in a practical way inside the salon business—improving marketing, streamlining operations, enhancing customer service, automating client communication and helping generate creative content.
Basically: how do you use AI to save time and run your business better without losing the human part that actually makes people connect with you?
That’s the sweet spot.
AI can help you move faster. It can help you organize your thoughts, write the first draft, answer repetitive questions, create content ideas and take some of the busywork off your plate. But YOU are still the strategy. YOU are still the voice. YOU are still the relationship.
If you’ve been curious about how ChatGPT could actually fit into your salon, spa or beauty business, start here.
💌 Pass It On
Know someone who needs this kind of real talk in their beauty journey?
Share The TRIMM with a fellow BEAUTISTA and help them grow, too.
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