Ask the wrong question, get the wrong answer.
- Jen Martinelli
- 2 days ago
- 12 min read
"The quality of your life is a direct reflection of
the quality of the questions you are asking yourself."
đź–¤ From Jen: Ask the wrong question, get the wrong answer.
Hi BEAUTISTA Fam,
This week was my birthday, so I planned my perfect day. Morning workout, then a walk through what I call my magical trail, which is this five-mile trail through the woods that I LOVE, stop at my local coffee shop for a coconut matcha, then home to spend some time with my kids. I have teenagers now, so I’ll take whatever time with them I can get. :)Â
Usually when I walk my magical trail I’m listening to an Audible book, a walking meditation, or music that pumps me up. But this time my husband Matt joined me, so instead we spent five miles walking and talking. And because it was my birthday, I asked the question I ask myself every year: “Am I where I thought I would be at this age?” Then I asked Matt the same thing.
I started asking myself this years ago after hearing this idea about the gap between the life we pictured and the life we actually have. We all have some version of that picture in our heads. By this age I’ll have accomplished this. I’ll make this much money. I’ll be married. I’ll have kids. I’ll own a house. My career will look like this.Â
So am I where I thought I'd be at this point in my life...  in a lot of ways my answer is no. My younger self absolutely thought I would be further along by now. I thought certain things would happen faster. I thought I would have accomplished some things already. I started my career over and started a new business in my 30s, so that obviously changed the timeline on A LOT of things. And yes, sometimes that frustrates me. There are definitely moments when I look around and think, I really thought I would be THERE by now.
But while Matt and I were walking, I started thinking about the questions that come AFTER that answer. Because when my answer is no - I'm NOT where I thought I would be - it can very quickly become: Why am I not further along? Why did this take so long? What did I do wrong?
And that brought me back to a concept I’ve always loved: Ask the wrong question, get the wrong answer. Because think about what I’ve already done when I ask myself, Why am I so behind? I’ve decided I’m behind before I’ve even answered the question. Now I’ve basically given my brain a job: Tell me all the reasons I’m behind. And my brain gives me the answers. You’re not smart enough. You don’t have the right strategy. You should have done this differently.
There’s a reason this happens. Our brains tend to look for information that helps answer whatever we’re focused on. So the way we ask a question matters. Why can’t I figure this out? assumes I can’t figure it out. Why is everyone else further along than me? assumes they are. The question can quietly contain the conclusion before we ever give ourselves a chance to answer it.
And that’s when I realized maybe the question I’ve been asking myself every birthday IS the problem. “Am I where I thought I would be at this age?” means I’m measuring my life today against a timeline I created YEARS ago, when I knew a whole lot less about life and had absolutely no idea what was actually going to happen along the way.
The truth is, a lot of what my younger self wanted, I STILL want. The vision hasn’t completely changed. I’m still super ambitious. I still want to build the things I thought I would build. I still want to accomplish the things I thought I would accomplish. What I’m questioning is the timeline I attached to all of it - and the story I tell myself when I’m not there yet.
Maybe being behind isn’t actually the problem. Maybe deciding I should already be there is.
That’s my birthday recalibration. What do I still want? What needs a different strategy? What am I willing to work harder for? What is taking longer than I thought it would—and can I let it take longer without turning that into proof that I’m failing?
Because “Why am I not there yet?” doesn’t help me get there. And I can want WAY more for my life without treating everything I already have like it somehow doesn’t count. On my birthday I had a husband who wanted to walk five miles through the woods with me and talk about life. I got my coconut matcha. I went home and spent time with my teenagers, which at this stage of life feels like winning the lottery. And I still have really big dreams. Both can be true.
So I’ll probably always ask myself, “Am I where I thought I would be at this age?” And this year, in a lot of ways, the answer is no. But I’m not going to end the conversation there. The next question is: Knowing what I know NOW, where do I want to go from here?
Because I can spend the next year asking my brain to prove that I’m behind, or I can give it a much better problem to solve.
Ask the wrong question, get the wrong answer.
So this year, I’m changing the question.
xoxo,
Jen MartinelliÂ
🚀 The Shift: Weekly Mindset + Strategy Upgrade.
Change the Question.
This week, catch yourself when you ask a question that already has a negative answer built into it.
Why am I so behind? Why can’t I figure this out? Why does this always happen to me?
Stop and rewrite ONE of them.
Instead of “Why am I so behind?” try “What can I do this week that moves me forward?”
Instead of “Why can’t I figure this out?” try “What am I missing, and who or what could help me figure it out?”
Instead of “Why does this always happen to me?” try “What part of this can I actually change?”
That’s it. Don’t solve your whole life this week. Just pay attention to the question you’re giving your brain to answer.
This week’s shift: Before you believe the answer, check the question.
🎙️ In Case You Missed It (ICYMI)
If you haven't checked the Classes page lately... consider this your reminder.
This week alone, BEAUTISTAS learned everything from silk presses and scalp health to color, smoothing, social media and AI.
A few worth going back for:
✨ Get Metal Detox Certified
L'Oréal Professionnel's Metal Detox Certification breaks down how metals inside the hair fiber can impact breakage and color results—and how to use the Metal Detox regimen to create more predictable results. Plus, you earn a certificate of completion.
🔥 Master the Silk Press
Mizani takes on one of the most requested services by textured-hair guests, covering the Press Agent System, heat settings, longevity, at-home care AND how to turn the service into retail and rebooking opportunities.
📱 Make Better Reels
The Color Wow team behind 1M+ followers on TikTok and Instagram teaches lighting, positioning, transitions, filming, editing and how to build your own aesthetic and personal brand. Yes please.
🤖 Put ChatGPT to Work in Your Salon
Summit's ChatGPT Bootcamp gets practical about using AI for salon marketing, operations, client communication and content creation. If you're still only using ChatGPT to write captions, there's SO much more you could be doing with it.
🧬 Geek Out on the Future of Hair Growth
BosleyMD gets into trichology, the scalp microbiome, follicle health, technology AND how AI is starting to reshape professional hair solutions. This one gets nerdy in the best possible way.
And that's barely scratching the surface.
K18, Redken, Biolage, Malibu C, Keratin Complex, R+COLOR, Pulp Riot, Living Proof and more all had education drop this week.
(And if you're a salon owner, school leader, or educator—share these with your team. One class can change a service. A habit of learning can change a career.)
đź’» Tech-Forward:
Where tech meets beauty (and your next big move begins).
5 Things You Should Automate Right Now
If you find yourself typing the same thing, answering the same question, or doing the same task over and over again... there is probably a way to stop doing it manually.
Here are five places I'd start:
1. The DMs + texts you answer 100 times a week.
“How much is a balayage?” “Where do I park?” “Do you take new clients?” “What's your cancellation policy?” “Which service should I book?”
Create a list of the questions you answer constantly and use AI to write responses that actually sound like YOU. Save them as quick replies in Instagram or text shortcuts on your phone. You're still having the conversation—you just aren't typing the same paragraph for the 47th time.
2. Your client follow-up.
New client? Send a welcome message. First appointment completed? Ask how they're loving their hair. Six weeks later and they haven't rebooked? Follow up. Birthday? Send something. Haven't seen them in six months? We miss you.
A lot of salon software can already automate pieces of this. USE IT. AI can help you write the actual messaging so it doesn't sound like a robot wrote it.
3. Asking for reviews.
Stop hoping your happiest clients remember to leave one. Build the ask into your client journey. After a great appointment, automatically send a short message with the review link. Then use AI to help you respond to reviews instead of letting them sit there unanswered.
4. Your content.
You don't need AI to create some fake version of you. Use it to make MORE out of what you're already doing. Film one transformation. Give AI the transcript or explain what happened and ask for a Reel hook, caption, Stories, educational post and client email from that ONE appointment. One piece of content just became five.
5. Your weekly business check-in.
This one might be my favorite. Every week, give AI the numbers you already have: appointments, rebooking, average ticket, retail, new clients, cancellations, no-shows, whatever you track.
Then ask:
“What changed from last week? What should I be paying attention to? Where am I leaving money on the table? What are the three things I should focus on next week?”
You don't have to be a business owner to do this either. If you're a stylist, track YOUR numbers. If you're a student, use AI to organize your goals, education, portfolio building or job search.
The goal isn't to automate the parts of this industry that should be human.
It's to automate the repetitive stuff so you have more time for the parts that shouldn't be.
What we're learning from Hiring  Funnels:Â
The Best Candidates Aren't Looking
The stylists you actually want to hire aren't on job boards. They're not refreshing Indeed on their lunch break. They're not uploading resumes. They're living their lives — and quietly open to what's next.
Gallup research shows 51% of the workforce is either actively watching for new opportunities or open to one. That's not a small number. That's most people. They're just not raising their hand yet.
That's who we're reaching.
When a campaign runs on Meta, it isn't showing up in a job search. It's showing up in the same feed where someone is watching a color transformation, scrolling between clients, or unwinding at the end of a shift. They weren't actively searching. But if the right opportunity appears — the right culture, the right offer, the right story — they stop scrolling.
That's the passive candidate. And they're almost impossible to reach on a job board.
The salons winning at hiring right now aren't waiting for talent to find them. They're showing up where talent already is.
And if the number surprises you, that's what Gavin is here for.
🔥 What’s Happening:
Virtual Live Events You Don’t Want to Miss
Next Live Virtual Classes
Your next breakthrough could be just one class away. Here's what's happening live this week on BEAUTISTA:
OLAPLEX — Transform Your Business: The OLAPLEX Business of Backbar
August 31 · 11:00 AM ET
Turn your backbar into a business builder. Learn how to create a treatment menu, strengthen consultations and turn more appointments into higher-value services.
Malibu C Professional — Mastering the Vivid Corrective Color Journey
August 31 · 12:00 PM ET
Calling all vivid artists. Go step-by-step through corrective color, from consultation and underlying pigment to controlling oxidation and tackling unwanted or faded tones.
OLAPLEX — Hollywood Glam: Trending Styles for Elevated Looks
September 1 · 12:00 PM ET
Polished updos. High-shine waves. Sleek ponytails. Learn three trending looks plus the techniques for structure, longevity and humidity resistance.
L’Oréal Professionnel — Blond Studio Essentials
September 1 · 2:00 PM ET
Get to know the Blond Studio portfolio and learn how to choose the right lightener for the client, the canvas and the result you’re trying to create.
Matrix — Acidic vs. Alkaline Toning
September 2 · 11:00 AM ET
Time to geek out on the science of toning. Learn when to use acidic vs. alkaline formulas, when you need a base shift and how to make smarter formulation decisions after lightening.
Matrix — Blonding for All
September 2 · 4:00 PM ET
From choosing the right lightener to mixing, application and processing, this one is all about getting more confident—and more efficient—with blonding behind the chair.
And yep... they’re all FREE on BEAUTISTA.
(And if you’re reading this as a salon owner or educator — send your team. One class can shift an entire culture.)
đź‘€ Watch This Space
(Jobs Worth Seeing)
đź‘€ Watch This SpaceÂ
Heads You Win |đź“ŤCharleston, SC
OPEN ROLES
What if your salon invested in more than your technical skills?
Okay Charleston stylists... Heads You Win Salon caught our attention with this one.
They've been part of the Charleston beauty community since 2000, but what we love about this opportunity is what they're building for the next chapter of the salon.
They aren't just investing in making you a better hairstylist. They're investing in the whole person and the career you want to build.
Why we'd take a look:
Education goes WAY beyond hair. Monthly education can include technical skills, but also personal finance, personal branding, sales and customer service.
You actually talk about where YOU want to go. One-on-one development sessions help you set goals and create a roadmap around your career.
There's somewhere to grow. Leadership opportunities can mean greater responsibility and access to more advanced education.
They want you to make money AND understand money. Competitive commission structures are paired with education designed to help you grow your pricing, confidence and earning potential.
Real benefits. PTO + a 401(k) with employer matching.
You're joining an established salon. Heads You Win has been serving Charleston since 2000, so you're not walking into a brand that's starting from scratch.
And maybe our favorite part: they don't believe becoming a great hairstylist should be the finish line.
They're looking for an experienced hairstylist with 2+ years behind the chair who wants more from their career.
Because behind the chair can be the beginning of something REALLY big.
🎤 Educators Wanted: Your Dream Role Just Went Live
Ready to teach, inspire, and represent iconic brands?
đź’Ą Educator roles at Pureology, Matrix and KĂ©rastase are now LIVE on BEAUTISTA.
Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rising educator, this is your moment.
🔦 BEAUTISTA Spotlight
Daisy Lopez |đź“ŤArizona
🎓 TSAOB Beauty
Okay Daisy... THIS is what we want students to be doing with their BEAUTISTA portfolios.
Daisy Lopez is currently a Hair Design student at TSAOB Beauty, graduating in 2027, but she isn't waiting until graduation to start building her career. She's already working as a hairstylist assistant at The West Beauty Collective, building her skills AND documenting the journey as she goes.
Why Daisy caught our attention:
🎥 She uses VIDEO. Daisy has multiple videos of her work in her portfolio. We say this ALL the time: employers don't just want you to tell them what you can do. Let them SEE you do it.
📸 She's building her body of work NOW. Photos, videos, an intro video, experience—she's creating the professional presence she'll need before she ever graduates.
✂️ She's getting real salon experience while she's in school. She's been assisting at The West Beauty Collective while continuing her Hair Design education.
đź“š She's thinking like a lifelong learner. Daisy specifically talks about continuous learning, pushing her creative boundaries and connecting with mentors and other professionals who can help her grow.
💇‍♀️ She's starting to define her lane. Hair design, styling and blowouts are already listed among her specialties.
This is what we mean when we tell students don't wait until graduation to start thinking about your career. Your portfolio isn't something you throw together when you suddenly need a job. Build it while you're learning. Add the work you're proud of. Add the videos. Show your progress. Let people watch you get better.
By the time Daisy graduates, she won't be starting from zero. She's already building her story.
đź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Ź GO DAISY.
👉 Connect with Daisy, explore his portfolio, and follow his journey on BEAUTISTA.
Want this for your students?
Reach out to  hello@beautista.com and we’ll show you how to make it happen.
đź’« WE WANT TO FEATURE YOU
 Have a story about how BEAUTISTA helped or inspired your career? Email us at hello@beautista.com to be spotlighted in an upcoming issue.
đź’ˇ BEAUTISTA Tips & Tricks
Did You Know? You Can Watch Redken Symposium 2026 Mainstage On-Demand for $49
Couldn't make it to Vegas for Redken Symposium this year?
You can now stream the Mainstage education on-demand exclusively on BEAUTISTA for just $49. And there is A LOT in there: 4 Mainstage sessions, 10 classes, 12 educators and 5 HOURS of education.
We're talking George Garcia on blonding, Danilo Bozic on Reversed Airtouch, Patricia Nikole on seamless blonding, Philip Foresto on expensive brondes, Rachel Redd on modern gray blending, Sam Villa on cutting, Sara Botsford on brunettes + AI, Maggie Perry, Marco Arena and more.
$49 gets you access to the complete Mainstage library, plus class resources, with access through
July 1, 2027.
So if you missed Symposium - or you were there and want to go back and rewatch the Mainstage education without trying to take notes at 100 miles an hour - now you can.
đź’Ś Pass It On
Know someone who needs this kind of real talk in their beauty journey?
Share The TRIMM with a fellow BEAUTISTA and help them grow, too.
Click here to read about last week's newsletter.
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