The week I realized I was asking for the wrong thing.
- Jen Martinelli
- Nov 3, 2025
- 10 min read
“Speak What you Seek."
🖤 From Jen: Speak What You DO Want - Not What you Don't.
Hey BEAUTISTA Fam,
I was listening to a podcast the other day and the guest was talking about talking in "double negatives" — how often we describe what we want by talking about what we don’t want. We are SO good at talking about what we don’t want. With my kids, it is easy to spot:
“I don’t want number 9.”“I don’t want to get picked last.”“I don’t want to get picked that after school club because I want to get into a different after school club.”
And the truth is… we do this as adults. We just don’t notice it. We speak around what we don’t want instead of toward what we do. And just like last weeks What you focus on grows concept this too is backed by science. Cognitive research shows that the subconscious doesn’t register the word don’t. It thinks in pictures, not grammar. Think of your language like handing your subconscious a GPS destination. It’s not thinking critically — it just listens and goes. If you type into your GPS, “Don’t take me to New Jersey,” it’s still plotting a route…straight to New Jersey.
So “I don’t want number 9” becomes an image of… number 9.“I don’t want to get picked last” becomes… getting picked last.
Do this with me now:
Go to Google and type: “don’t show me pink elephants.”
Did you do it? ......
What shows up? ....
Pink elephants!
Because Google — just like the subconscious mind— ignores the negative and responds to the image. That’s exactly what happened with my son. He kept repeating - like a mantra - that he didn’t want number 9… and guess what jersey he got? Yep. Number 9. Now — could he control what number he got? No. That part wasn’t in his hands. But here’s what was in his hands: the story he kept replaying in his mind, his attention, his language, his focus - And that’s the point. Some outcomes are action-based. Some are energetic alignment. Most are a blend of both.
It ties back to what we talked about last week — your brain constantly filters for the things you spotlight. This takes it a layer deeper into how language drives that spotlight. Sports psychology shows the same pattern: positive directives outperform negative ones. Athletes respond better to “keep your eye on the ball” than “don’t look away.” The brain grabs the picture, not the avoidance.
This isn’t about magical thinking — it’s just clarity. If your brain is the bouncer, your language is the address you hand it. So… what address are you giving it?
When you name what you do want, your brain starts looking for ways to move toward it.
Like this: If you say… “I don’t want another slow month,” your brain just holds the picture of slow.
But if you shift it to: “I want five new first-time guests this month,” suddenly you’ve given yourself something you can actually move toward — and you start taking tiny actions that support that picture… posting your work, asking for referrals, following up. The picture becomes direction. The direction becomes action. The action becomes momentum.
This week, just notice yourself: Are you speaking toward what you do want… or away from what you don’t? One of those fuels momentum -The other just keeps you circling the same picture.
xoxo
-Jen Martinelli
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🚀 The Shift: Weekly Mindset + Strategy Upgrade.
Stop Speaking the “Don’t”… Start Acting Toward the “Do.”
1) Catch the Double Negative
Just notice when you’re talking about what you don’t want.
No judgment.
Awareness is the lever.
Quick examples:❌
“I don’t want clients who only want discounts.”→ Your brain pictures: discount clients.
2) Flip It to What You Do Want
Say the outcome — clearly.
✅ “I want clients who value the experience and pay my worth.”
Make your brain paint THAT picture.
3) Back It with One Tiny Action
Words aim the mind.Action tells the nervous system, “We’re serious.”
So after you flip the language…
Ask: “What’s one 5-minute step I can take that moves in that direction?”
Example:
→ Want fuller books?Text 5 clients you’d love to see again.
Small actions = big energy shift.
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🎙️ In Case You Missed It (ICYMI)
(Throwback Spotlight) Caroline Sims Matrix Mentorship Winner
Every once in a while, I have to pinch myself and remember: this community creates real-life, career-changing moments.
A little throwback to when Caroline Sims (@styledbycaro_) won an EPIC backstage mentorship experience with the MATRIX team at one of the biggest beauty shows in the country — back when BEAUTISTA was still Canvas ME.
She built a killer portfolio…
She put herself out there…
And she WON. 🤯✨
Caroline spent time behind the scenes with top MATRIX artists — watching, learning, connecting, and stepping into rooms most stylists only dream about.
👉 Go watch her reaction + experience here
(so good — you’ll feel it)
👉 See Caroline’s BEAUTISTA portfolio (it’s worth a look)
This happened because she was brave enough to show her work and raise her hand.That’s the magic of a portfolio + community.
Brands want to pull from real, rising talent. And that’s still happening here, now more than ever.
If you needed a reminder that opportunities are real — this is it.
This is your reminder:
Your portfolio is more than a page — it’s a door. And opportunities like this are still happening inside BEAUTISTA.
Keep your portfolio fresh.
Keep showing up.
You never know who’s watching… or where it can take you.
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💻 Tech-Forward:
Where tech meets beauty (and your next big move begins).
Google Business Profile = Your Free Billboard
Most beauty pros say they want more local clients…but never touch the #1 place clients look when they’re ready to book:
Google → not Instagram.
If someone searches
“hair color near me”
“silk press [city]”
“blonding stylist [city]”
They’re not scrolling reels… they’re scrolling MAP PACK (It’s the little Google map ) + Google listings. This is where you win (or lose) the client before they ever check IG. And the crazy part?It’s FREE — and most stylists never update it.
5-Minute Upgrade
Add your BEAUTISTA link as your main booking link→ Your portfolio becomes your website.
Upload 3–6 photos of your best work→ Google LOVES fresh photos → boosts ranking.
Add keywords to your servicesExamples:• Curly blonding• Silk press specialist• Dimensional brunette
Add your hours + social links→ Makes it easy to convert.
Ask 1 client / week to leave a review→ Reviews = trust = bookings.
Why this matters
Shows up first when locals search
Helps new clients find you at the exact moment they’re in decision mode
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What we're learning from Hiring Funnels:
The Interview Checklist: Questions That Reveal EQ (Not Just Skill)
Technical skills matter. But the salons hiring BEST right now are screening for EQ: judgment, ownership, coachability, communication.
Because you can teach skill — you can’t teach character.
Here’s a simple, high-signal checklist you can use with every candidate to understand who they really are.
The EQ Interview Checklist:
1) “Tell me about a time something didn’t go as planned.”
What it reveals:
Ownership • Problem-solving • Maturity
Green flags:
➕ Takes responsibility
➕ Explains what they learned
➕ Shows humility
Red flags:
➖ Blames others
➖ Tells story with no reflection
2) “How do you like to receive feedback?”
What it reveals:
Coachability • Openness • Self-awareness
Green flags:
➕ Gives examples of past growth
➕ Doesn’t get defensive
Red flags:➖
“I don’t really need feedback”
3) “Walk me through your first appointment with a new guest.”
What it reveals:
Communication • Process • Professionalism
Green flags:
➕ Consultation flow
➕ Expectation-setting
➕ Home-care conversation
Red flags:
➖ “I just wing it”
4) “Tell me about the best team you’ve been part of.”
What it reveals: Values • Collaboration • Culture fit
Green flags:
➕ Talks about systems + communication
➕ Values support + accountability
Red flags:
➖ Only talks about drama
➖ Speaks negatively about everyone else
5) “How do you keep developing your craft?”
What it reveals: Growth mindset • Initiative • Future potential
Green flags:
➕ Names intentional practice (classes, models, mentors)
➕ Has a current learning focus
Red flags:
➖ “I just learn on clients”
➖ No structure / no curiosity
BONUS SIGNALS TO WATCH FOR:
Curiosity
Do they ask questions about education, culture, growth?
Energy
Do they sound engaged + warm, or flat + guarded?
Ownership Language
“I learned…I adjusted…I followed up…”vs.“They didn’t…”“No one…”“My school…”
EQ hires stay longer, grow faster, and protect culture.
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🔥 What’s Happening:
Virtual Live Events You Don’t Want to Miss
Next Live Virtual Class
The Salon Hiring Disruption: What’s Working Now—And What’s NextMonday, Nov 10 • 12:00 PM ET • Free • Live Online
Hiring shouldn’t be this hard.Resumés are outdated. Job posts get ghosted. Interviews? Half the time, no one shows up.Meanwhile, the best beauty pros are skipping job boards entirely—and showing up with video portfolios, purpose, and data to back it up.
So why are we still hiring like it’s 2012?
This exclusive webinar brings the Data Driven 2025 stage conversation straight to your screen—what’s actually working right now, and what’s next for salons that want to stay ahead.
You’ll walk away with:✨ A new hiring playbook built for today’s beauty landscape✨ How AI, video, and performance data are reshaping recruitment✨ The 3 biggest hiring mistakes owners still make—and how to fix them✨ What to look for instead of resumés to attract talent with culture fit and staying power
Who it’s for:Salon/spa owners, hiring managers, and leaders who want faster, smarter, and more human hiring.
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🌟 Partner Perks:
Career-Changing Collabs You Shouldn’t Miss
GROWTH (Extended!)
Quick reminder: we’ve been loving GROWTH, the hair wellness line that helps you start real conversations about thinning and post-summer shed. They offered FREE Starter Kits to the next 30—and kept the offer going after hitting 30 because demand was so strong. It’s still live (limited extension).
Why salons care
Opens an easy, trusted convo your clients already want to have (thinning, shedding, post-summer stress).
Pairs naturally with scalp services and at-home care.
Adds a wellness revenue stream without feeling salesy.
How to roll it out (5 minutes)
Add “Scalp + Growth Consult” to your menu (10 mins).
Print a QR at the front desk → links to your recommended kit.
Post a 15–30s “how I use it” clip to your BEAUTISTA portfolio + IG.
Train one simple script: “If thinning is on your mind, this is the starter kit I trust—want me to text you the link?”
👉 Claim your FREE Starter Kit (next 30): https://beautista.com/register/growth-giveaway-2025
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👀 Watch This Space
(Jobs Worth Seeing)
👀 Watch This Space —Yacht Club Salon — Westminster, CO
Opportunity:
✅ Senior Hairstylist (Featured) — FT or PT✅ Associate Stylist✅ Guest Experience Coordinator
If you’ve ever dreamed of a salon home where artistry meets true hospitality — this is the one.
For 30+ years, The Yacht Club Salon has been the beauty heartbeat of Westminster.
Redken Black Elite. Pureology Top 100. Best Salon since 2010. They’re more than decorated — they’re trusted. From the moment you walk in, you feel the difference. Not just because guests are greeted with seasonal mimosas (though the pumpkin spice one has a fan club)…but because the team genuinely loves being here.
Growth is structured. Education is nonstop. Community is the backbone.
Stylists here:— Build six-figure careers— Train with top Redken + Pureology educators— Follow a clear Summit growth path— Work in a luxury space where clients respect the craft— Are celebrated, not just booked
If you love:🎨 Craft + technical excellence🧠 Continuous learning💜 Connection + culture✨ Elevating the guest experience
…then this salon will fit like a custom razor-sharp bob. Whether you’re a seasoned cutter/colorist ready for Level 4 goals, or stepping into your career and craving mentorship,
The Yacht Club isn’t just a place to work — it’s a place to grow roots.
This one won’t sit open long. If you’re looking for a salon where excellence, education, and kindness live together — go peek. You’ll feel it immediately.
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🎤 Educators Wanted: Your Dream Role Just Went LiveReady to teach, inspire, and represent iconic brands?
💥 Educator roles at Pureology, Redken, and Kérastase are now LIVE on BEAUTISTA.Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a rising educator, this is your moment.
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🔦 BEAUTISTA Spotlight
Shakira Kali — Redford, MIBoard Certified Colorist • Educator • Writer • 20 Years in Beauty
Some artists just have it — that mix of skill, spirit, and story that makes you stop scrolling.
Meet Shakira Kali (She/Her), a Detroit-born stylist whose career is rooted in legacy.
Her grandmother owned a beauty salon. Her mother was a nail artist. This industry isn’t just what she does — it’s who she is.
Today, Shakira is:✨ A celebrity hairstylist🎥 A film + TV artist (yes, she’s worked at Tyler Perry Studios)🌱 A founder — building her brand, Deeply Rooted💇♀️ A luxury extensions + healthy-hair specialist💛 And someone guided by faith + purpose
Her BEAUTISTA portfolio reads like a visual autobiography — 15 years of craft, transformation, and consistency. From glam waves to protective styles to editorial looks on set…her body of work shows range, confidence, and intention.
What we love most:She’s built a career portfolio that evolves with her.This isn’t just early-career work or a few highlight shots.It’s a living archive — film credits, luxury services, KPIs (her average ticket is $395!), and a mission statement that puts service at the center.
Her work proves what we say all the time:
Your BEAUTISTA portfolio isn’t just for school — it’s for every chapter of your career.
Students →Shakira shows what it looks like to build your presence early and keep growing into it.
Professionals →Your next dream client/collab/film set doesn’t want a résumé —they want to see your hands.
Brands →Her aesthetic, consistency, and POV make her easy to understand, trust, and book.
Take a scroll through her portfolio, and you’ll see why she stands out. It’s skill + story + soul.
Want this kind of experience and impact for your students?Reach out to jeneanne@beautista.com and we’ll show you how to make it happen.
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💫 WE WANT TO FEATURE YOU
Have a story about how BEAUTISTA helped or inspired your career? Email us at hello@beautista.com to be spotlighted in an upcoming issue.
💡 BEAUTISTA Tips & Tricks
💡 BEAUTISTA Tips & Tricks
“…WHEN can we get the Placement Report?” Matt and Jeneanne were at AACS this past weekend, and I swear — every school leader who stopped by said the same thing: "We need this yesterday.”
And honestly… we get it. Placement tracking is a pain. Spreadsheets everywhere. Emails. Follow-ups.
“Who hired who?”“Did we get proof?”“Where’s the documentation?!”
Our upcoming BEAUTISTA Placement Report is going to make every school’s life so much easier.
Here is a sneak peak:
✔ Auto-searches for placement indicators✔ Provides URLs to verified proof for fast screenshot upload✔ Centralized digital records stored per student✔ Export by cohort, grad date, or individual✔ Audit-ready without the scramble
👉 Book a call with Jeneanne to get on the early access listShe’ll walk you through what’s coming + make sure your school is lined up.
Because this isn’t just a report… it’s peace of mind.And apparently… everyone wants it. 💜
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🗣 Your Take
Vote here 👇– We'll share the results in the next TRIMM.
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📊 Last weeks results
💌 Pass It On
Know someone who needs this kind of real talk in their beauty journey?Share The TRIMM with a fellow BEAUTISTA and help them grow, too.
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